A.K.Harris

Author and Content Creator

Dance Moms are a Real Thing, Y’all.

Dance Moms are a Real Thing, Y’all.

Re-read the title of this post, I will wait.

They are real and scary as a slasher flick, playing in a pit of sharks, infested with ghosts. Yeah, that scary.

So, you probably need a little more back story as to why I have made this horrendous analogy.  Well, I am a “dance mom”.  My daughter has been tumbling for five years.  We have done five year end productions, they don’t even call them recitals anymore, you guys.  They are three to four hour butt-numbing, over the top, fantastical Broadway productions, with lights, camera, sound, and complete with the crazy fan-girl dance moms.

I truly enjoy the show and the three minute snippet that my daughter gets to grace the stage, don’t get me wrong, but nothing will make you feel quite as inadequate as a true dance mom.  I find myself digressing in these moments and I shame myself for it, but come on Susan, do you really need to scream like a banshee, flapping your hands about like some distressed mental patient?  No, seriously, I am asking?  Is that what I am suppose to be doing?  I don’t get it.  I clap, what I would say, is an appropriate amount and cheer for my daughter, but it seems it is competition to see who loves their kid more.

Then you have the volunteer moms who, God bless them, work their butts off for production day, however, I feel judged as I drop my daughter backstage and go take my seat to watch and enjoy the show.  This may be just my impression, but mom shaming comes to mind. Yes, Janet, I need to buy tickets at the door, I didn’t pre-order VIP tickets and no, I did not order a cookie gram. Nor did I order an itchy polyester tee-shirt with names printed on it so tiny you need a magnifying glass to read them.  No, I did not buy every single thing that the committee pushed for fundraising. (We will get into the cost here in a minute, hold tight.) Like I said, I digress.

Is it just me or has the monetary investment in kids activities become astronomical?  We are a blue collar household, it is tough, y’all.  I can’t even imagine how a single parent does it.  I happen to have two extremely active kids, their choice, not mine.  My son is an athlete who does football, wrestling, track, weights, and until this year, baseball.  My daughter is in tumbling, soccer, softball, and music lessons and this is why we are red lining every other week.  It is a tightrope, step right down the middle and you have balance, but step too far right or left and you pummel to your death.  On one hand, you want your kid to have all the opportunities, yet you have to be able to pay the bills, so this is why it is essential for me to say no to the extras once and awhile and I shouldn’t have to feel bad about that.  Remember all those extras we were talking about above just for dance? Let’s talk about that.

The year end production cost for dance is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!  I mean no disrespect to our studio at all, they are great, really.  Personally though, I just can’t spring for all the extras and I know there are quite a few parents or grandparents who can’t afford to come to the show and that just makes me sad.  It also bubbles up feelings of resentment and shame for me.  I want to be able to afford all the extras and be like Susan.  I mean, we pay all year tuition and then costume, then the show rolls around and it costs my family of three eighty dollars just to see the show.  It really is an impressive show, but I would be just as happy to watch her do her thing on the back of flatbed truck.

End rant.  I do want to say that my daughter loves dancing and tumbling with our studio.  She loves her instructors and classmates.  All else aside, that is of utmost importance.  As far as all the other is concerned, I will try harder to accept the inordinate dance moms and maybe they will do the same for this laid back Midwest Momster.

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